I have been busy.
Finishing my Thesis this summer, attended the DT&L conference, did some overhaul work on the house, planning for 7-8 sections–prepping for some I've never taught before, etc., etc., etc.
…and that's not even factoring in family commitments and family life (full of the typical frustrations, pains and sorrows, angers and frustrations…and punctuated with just the right amount of joys mixed in).
I haven't vacationed in about 15 years-- the closest thing is sightseeing when I get a conference grant for a few hours every few years. I forgo a lot of leisure activities (but adopt other hobbies that take less time to help keep me sane).I gotta say that I have been so close to losing hope and giving up when the busy factor gets overwhelming—but I don't.
I often think about my students; some who have full time work, family commitments, and then attend classes to better themselves (not unlike me). How close may some be to giving up? How many have been taught (either by others or the harshness of life) to just give-up or take an easier road when it seems too tough? How many lose hope and cannot see the light at the end of a very long metaphorical tunnel? How many are dealing with additional pain (literal and figurative) on top of that? Pain and problems that I cannot begin to understand, and are toughing it out in spite?
I can honestly say I have empathy for them. I am often just on the cusp of throwing in the towel. I often deal with things no one knows about as well.
Perhaps the cliché thing to do here is to tell you that "I feel your pain."
Reality is, I do not. I feel MY pain, and you feel YOUR pain. There are things that no one can fully comprehend about another person and their individual journey through life, so the best we can do is empathize.
Empathy doesn't mean turning our heads the other way and pretending that everything is OK. It doesn't mean pretending that you paid something when in fact you didn't. It doesn't mean allowing you to take what you need at the cost of another person… that's actually called "showing preference."
It means acknowledging that we are both dealing with life, and that I (as a fellow human being not wishing harm onto any other) will do my best to help you on your path, and you will do your best to help me. I can relate in some way to your condition, since I also have mine. I will help you (and others) with your pain where I can, and you will also help me (and others) in turn.
We don't need pity. No one really needs pity, it just creates the wrong condition for us to proceed. What we do need is more empathy.
Empathy for everyone.
